I write this out because you have found yourself in a position I was at 13.You feel hurt,you still don't believe it,your mind is racing with memories of both of you..You are having flash forwards of plans you have for her.
There is no pain compared to what u feel now mixed with 'if I had knowns".At the same time you have to Simultaneously be the man at the moment for all your Siblings. .As I wish you my HEART felt Condolences and God's strength. ..I also want to remind you..Your Mom is not gone...She is what you have become,Her principles are what keeps you moving ,God believes her Job is done but he will surely show u her traits through your kids when they are born..It might be their Smile,their composure when angry or their approach to life overall. .... God give you strength. .......Call on me Any day brother. ....
And Remember nothing will make her proud than you continuing the legacies she impacted ...Deaths Icy hands cannot surmount the Ultimate eternal Fulfilment you get internally if you know every step still makes her proud in the heavens.